Very Cool

A conversation with my parents today reminded me of a man from my first ever writers' group. He would bring chapters in of his book, The Resurrection Tree, for reading. They were invariably thought provoking and well written, and I remember hoping that it would make it into print so I could read the whole thing.

Well it did. I went and looked it up on Amazon, and voila - The Resurrection Tree.

It goes on my wish list immediately, and the next time I make a book order, it's coming home. Congratulations, Charles!

Some People

I just found out that one of the few people on the planet I truly don't like, is married to a woman I have great admiration for.

And I really have to wonder why.

It's not so much a matter of "What does she see in him?" I deal with that all the time myself with S. To a lot of people on the outside, our relationship seems to look pretty weird. I'm pretty well aware that someone can have redeeming qualities in a relationship that aren't apparent from the outside. It's more a matter of respect. As in, he seems to have no respect whatsoever for her - so why are they married? I know both of them on-line only. I knew she was married, even though I knew nothing whatsoever about her husband. I not only didn't know he was married, I was certain he wasn't. His attitude toward women is very much "Whee! Polygamy! Pretty ladies!" in on-line interactions, in a way that seems very adolescent - and clueless, sexist adolescent at that. Top that off with someone who's angry at the world, and rigid in his views on others acceptable behavior, and you have a thoroughly unpleasant person, and one I think likely to be dangerous in a relationship. Not necessarily physically, but certainly emotionally. Also the type of person likely to be vengeful if he views himself as wronged.

He may well act differently toward her in person. I hope to God he does. But to me the behavior he exibits to others is a big red flag. The man who disrespects every woman but you, will one day come to disrespect you as a woman.

I'm keeping my mouth shut, other than the minor rant here, because it's their marriage, not mine. But I'll be hoping and praying that he gets a clue before she gets hurt. Worse than just the fallout of his thoughtless, antagonistic behavior, which she is already suffering.

Invisible Inaccessibility

As I've been spending this week trying to find a suitable venue for a party with at least two guests in wheelchairs, and it is (or at least was a few hours ago) Blog Against Disabalism Day, I thought it appropriate to write about the frustrations involved.

The party in question is a wedding shower for my friend A. Since I live out-of-state, I need to find a restaurant or similar place in A's hometown where we can go have her party. The alternative would be to hold it in her apartment. The latter would guarantee accessibility, but would put at least 75% of the shower work on the bride, which doesn't seem like a good option. So I've been talking to various places, trying to find someplace that can accomodate a couple dozen people, of whom two will be in wheelchairs.

Seems simple, doesn't it? Just call a few places up and ask about their accessibility, right?

It doesn't work that way. Those of you who use wheelchairs regularly are undoubtedly familiar with the phenomenon - most places that call themselves "accessible" are at best, barely tolerable. The handicapped bathroom may be accessed by a door in a blocked corner that no wheelchair could get around. The level entrance may be on a block with no curb cuts whatsoever. The restaurant with the wide doors, may have tables placed so closely together that Mario Andretti couldn't drive a wheelchair through the maze. Yet all of these will be called "Handicapped Accessible", and their employees will be cheerfully oblivious to their failings. No place can be truly trusted to be accessible, regardless of what they say, unless someone who knows what they're looking for has been there, on the ground, looking.

I talked to one place about their accessibility. Their events coordinator had no idea what I was getting at. They had the accessible sticker, didn't they? What was I concerned about?

"Can you get from the nearest parking lot to your building easily?" I asked. She wasn't sure. She thought so...yes, the parking lot in the basement had an elevator. When asked about clearence for a tall wheelchair van, she had no idea. Curb cuts on the block? No idea. Accessible meant that their doorways were wide, and they had rails in the bathroom as far as she knew.

Fortunately for my peace of mind, her restaurant is not where I ended up booking us. That honor went to a different place. When I was talking to their manager, I brought up the accessibility question, expecting the same waffling as always. Instead he asked me a question in return "What kind of wheelchairs will there be?" he asked. "The different chairs can have different footprints, and I want to make sure I leave enough turning room."

I think I'm in love. Or possibly in heaven. After weeks of calling and asking, I can actually book the wedding shower someplace where I can have some confidence that the bride can get to her own shower.

Now if only she didn't have to deal with this kind of crap every day of the week, and twice on Sundays, I'd be a happy woman.

Blog Against Disabalism Day

I'm going to have to think about this one. May 1 is blog against diabalism day (as well as a few other things - see http://blobolobolob.blogspot.com/2006/04/blogging-against-disablism-day-1st-may.html for details). I think I have a good post or two in my brain on the subject, but I've been reading enough stuff regarding movement highjacking to make me be very careful about writing about disability issues when I'm not disabled. Nonetheless, I think it's important to be aware of people with disabilities and the frequently unnecessary obstacles we toss in their way, and if I can write a post that addresses things from that POV, then I'll submit it.

Word count for today: 540 - 1 completed column on Motorcycle Airbags. I'll attach photos and links tomorrow, and with any luck it should go up in a day or two.

Back into Writing Mode

OK - I've been staggering on through this month, barely managing the minimum writing I can get away with. I've been posting about an article a week on Damn Interesting - which is supposed to be two, and I'm putting just enough review time on Rate Your Writing (which is back - yahoo!) to keep my account in the Cool - Tepid range. That's pretty minimal - maybe five or six hours a week, including reading/research time?

Screw that. I've got a book to edit and two books to finish, an article count to catch up on, and waay more stuff banging around in my head I want to get down on paper. Time to buckle down and write. I'm aiming for at least 500 words a day, bare minimum (about the length of a DI article). Tomorrow's goal - an article on motorcycle airbags for DI, and some more work on the George/Horse scene for Oddballs.

In other news, Dad's run-in with heart surgery seems to be working wonders for my diet. I've been about 3/4 vegetarian for the last week and a half (meat only when eating meals with unavoidable meat with my family), and seem to have consequently dropped two pounds in that same time-period. We'll see if it's made any difference in my cholesterol. Well actually we'll see if that, plus the fat-lowering efforts of the months previous have made any difference. I hope so, since my starting cholesterol of last October was 252 - forty points higher than my father's, not a comforting thought.

Reading: The China Study (recommended), Fallen Dragon (not sure yet)

The Birthday Month

I haven't posted in a long while - for which I apologize. It's been a fairly strange month.

First off, Robbie is fine now. He was sick for about a week, drove two different doctors mad trying to figure out what was wrong, and then simply got better. We were on tenter-hooks for several days, not trusting that he really was better, but it (whatever it was) never did return. No complaints, but I do wish we knew what it was, so we'd know if it was likely to happen again or not.

My dad is recovering from triple-bypass surgery right now. About a week ago he had mild chest pains; wandered over to his doctor for a stress EKG; had an angiogram after the EKG came out marginal; and was then admitted for a bypass with his doctor refusing to let him go home without surgery. It beats all heck out of finding out about his clogged arteries via a heart attack, but it was still pretty shocking to the system. Fortunately he's weathered the surgery well so far, and is home driving Mom crazy and wanting to do too much too soon.

S is now up for surgery as well. It was originally scheduled for the 27th, but he moved it back into May. Somehow he didn't think this was the right moment (gee, wonder why?). In his case it's sinus surgery, uncomfortable, but not major. His symptoms are being controlled with steroids right now, so he can hang on for a few more weeks without much problem. The surgery is more because he doesn't want to be on steroids forever.

The socks are done, and I'll be more than happy to stuff them in the mail to Mom, and never see them again.

The Hospital Sock

I'm very glad that the socks I'm knitting right now are for my mother and not for me. I don't think I'm ever going to be able to look at them again after this week. They're a perfectly nice pair of socks - an unexceptional lace pattern in the "Crazy Lady" colorway from Mountain Colors - a pretty blend of purple, teal, burgandy, and orange.

Unfortunately I've done most of the second sock while sitting in Clark Memorial Hospital with my eldest son. He's got a stomach/intestinal complaint that has so far defied diagnosis. He can't eat at all (2 Ritz crackers in three days), he can barely drink, and he's pretty much constantly either nauseous or in pain. We've spent hours in the emergency room, and a few in the radiology department, plus time with his pediatrician. The only limited success we've had so far, is that we've managed to keep him hydrated enough to not be admitted - but we're slowly losing that battle. All we know is what it's not - it's not rotovirus, it's not apendicitis, it's probably not a blockage - every test we do eliminates a few more possibilities, but nothing has told us what it is.

Knitting on the Crazy Lady sock seems entirely appropriate, but I'll probably never use the yarn again. The associations are too strong.