Updating all around.
1. Due to annoying conflicts, illness, weather, etc. I have thus far only been to ONE!!! karate class in all of January. This is clearly not on. I need to hit things more. Also my Chatanyara no Sai desperately needs more practice to iron out those awkward "What am I supposed to do next? Oh, right." pauses in the middle. I really, really want to learn Urashi Bo, but can't (and shouldn't), until Chatanyara is well settled.
2. Dad W. results - extremely mixed. He's tolerating the chemo and radiation exceptionally well, with virtually no side effects - mild anemia (just started treatment), and some nausea immediately post-chemo and that's it. OTOH, his habit of staying well within his comfort zone physically is coming back to bite him big-time. He won't walk or exercise unless I both drill sergeant him into it and then stay right beside him the whole time (and even then not hard or far), and rarely bothers to eat unless I make it up and plonk it in front of him (for a man with a week's supply of convenience food in his bedroom, this strikes me as weird). As a consequence he's steadily losing both weight and muscle mass, and a lot of physical capability as well. I'm trying to be as patient about this as I can, but it makes me want to shake him. He knows that he needs to move more (every doctor he has has said so multiple times), he knows he needs to eat - but he keeps waiting for me to tell him what to do every time.
Aaargh!! I'm willing to fight this cancer with him every step of the way, but I can't fight it for him, and that's what he seems to want me to do.
3. We had a lovely bout of stomach virus run through the whole family last week. Kids and Rob over the weekend (that would be weekend before last), Dad W. mid-week, and then me right after Rob left the country - naturally. Then I caught something else intestinal again over the weekend. Had to cancel out on church (which I felt guilty as heck about, but I didn't think the service would be enhanced by having the organist sprint madly for the bathroom in mid-ceremony). By Sunday afternoon, I was feeling better, but had lost 4 and a half pounds from Saturday evening. So far nobody else seems to have caught my second whatsit. Cross your fingers.
As a side note - grocery shopping on Sunday certainly produced a healthier cart than usual. Snack foods and the like had absolutely no temptation for me - the bedding section on the other hand... Ah the joys of being the only able-bodied adult in the house.
4. Aaron is continuing his run of straight A report cards. He may be enjoying this a little bit too much, as it's the first time in his life he's had better grades than his brother. Robbie's grades are improving (he got his first middle school A, in band, this time around), but he's still having to work hard at remembering to do and turn in all the work middle school expects of him. His test grades remain straight A's, balanced out by intermittent zeroes for homework.
5. Dad W. is finally inching towards letting Rascal go. I suspect it will be a while yet, but he at least had me get information from the vet about cremation/burial services and costs. If he doesn't do something soon, though, he won't get the choice, as Rascal has dropped something like a third of his body weight in the last two months, even though he's eating like a pig. He's starvingly hungry all the time (he's bitten me twice snapping for treats I'm handing him), but losing weight steadily despite being fed. So there's likely something else wrong besides the known list. (Blind, deaf, arthritic, heart murmur, paralyzed) It just kills me to see this skeleton covered in black fur dragging around the house, knowing he needs to be put down, and I can't do it because I'm not his owner.
And that's the state of things since my last post. Rob is off on another continent for the next three weeks. He'll be back the day before Dad W. starts his next round of chemo.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Thursday, January 07, 2010
OMG/110
We've survived Dad W's first chemo procedure. Actually, he tolerated the procedure really, really well, without any of the pain and nausea we were told to expect. The side effects from the chemo itself have just started cropping up today (48 hours later), and thus far aren't too horrible - some abdominal pain, some nausea - both controllable with medication - and a lot of fatigue.
In another eight days we do the same thing again (1-day admit for a procedure, then home) only this time the microspheres will be radioactive instead of impregnated with chemotherapy drugs.
Yesterday, naturally, the hospital released Dad W at exactly the wrong moment for our schedules. I had Dad-sitting duties until 2, when I was supposed to leave to go to my annual gyne visit, and then pick up the boys. If he was released before 2, then I would take him home. If he was released after 2, then Rob would get off work early and come get him ASAP - which would be 3:30, approximately. Well, they told me at 1 that they were releasing Dad W. By the time they got the paperwork processed, walked us through the release orders, got him dressed and all his stuff together, and got the wheelchair transport, it was 2:05 - and instead of going straight to my appointment, I had to go home and get him settled first. I showed up 15 minutes late, and with an absolutely sky-high blood pressure - 185/110. My blood-pressure occasionally runs the high side of normal, but nothing like this. But half an hour later it had only dropped to 172/105, still waaay too high. So now I'm under instructions to take my BP daily for the next week and go see my PCP with the results (had an appointment with her before I left the building).
Why do I feel like my BP would have been better if I had been able to make karate class on Tuesday night? But that was the procedure day, and it just wasn't happening. And tonight class is cancelled because of snow. Only two classes missed so far, and I'm already feeling a bit bereft. And I'm likely to miss Thursday of next week because of that procedure. Glah - I need to go hit stuff! This no yoga, no karate thing that's been happening for the last month is just not on.
In good news, Sensei is supposed to be starting back at work in about 2 weeks. His knee is apparently healing well from his surgery. Missing this much work has been a big concern for him, so I'm glad he's getting back to it.
In another eight days we do the same thing again (1-day admit for a procedure, then home) only this time the microspheres will be radioactive instead of impregnated with chemotherapy drugs.
Yesterday, naturally, the hospital released Dad W at exactly the wrong moment for our schedules. I had Dad-sitting duties until 2, when I was supposed to leave to go to my annual gyne visit, and then pick up the boys. If he was released before 2, then I would take him home. If he was released after 2, then Rob would get off work early and come get him ASAP - which would be 3:30, approximately. Well, they told me at 1 that they were releasing Dad W. By the time they got the paperwork processed, walked us through the release orders, got him dressed and all his stuff together, and got the wheelchair transport, it was 2:05 - and instead of going straight to my appointment, I had to go home and get him settled first. I showed up 15 minutes late, and with an absolutely sky-high blood pressure - 185/110. My blood-pressure occasionally runs the high side of normal, but nothing like this. But half an hour later it had only dropped to 172/105, still waaay too high. So now I'm under instructions to take my BP daily for the next week and go see my PCP with the results (had an appointment with her before I left the building).
Why do I feel like my BP would have been better if I had been able to make karate class on Tuesday night? But that was the procedure day, and it just wasn't happening. And tonight class is cancelled because of snow. Only two classes missed so far, and I'm already feeling a bit bereft. And I'm likely to miss Thursday of next week because of that procedure. Glah - I need to go hit stuff! This no yoga, no karate thing that's been happening for the last month is just not on.
In good news, Sensei is supposed to be starting back at work in about 2 weeks. His knee is apparently healing well from his surgery. Missing this much work has been a big concern for him, so I'm glad he's getting back to it.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
A Deep Breath
Some good news - Dad W has no metastases. We have only the primary tumor to deal with. The oncologist sounded downright optimistic at the latest visit. Granted, we still have a big honking, fast-growing liver tumor, but we have a plan of action and some hope.
I just realized I was talking about Dad W's cancer the way some husbands talk about pregnancies - as "our" tumor. It's really feeling that way. I track the appointments, take Dad W to them, and provide doctor interface and translation when he gets confused. Though I feel a little guilty because along with everything else I feel, I'm also absolutely fascinated with the actual treatments being planned.
We'll be starting targeted chemo and radiation therapy in January, both supplied through polymer microspheres fed directly into the artery that supplies the tumor. Between now and then our instructions are to feed him up, and chase him out of the house to get some exercise - basically to try to build him up both physically and mentally before treatments actually begin. So for now, it's time to catch our breath, enjoy the holidays and get ready to hit the ground running.
Other news: The Saturn having been successfully turned into a large paperweight (cracked engine block), I now have a 1997 Nissan Maxima to play with. It's a year older, but with 100,000 fewer miles than the Saturn. We now look like a family of government agents, with two black cars with black interiors and tinted windows.
Our church organist is taking a leave of absence for January and February, so I will be sharing duties with one of the other choir members (a composer and phenomenal pianist) to provide coverage. Eeep! That's a lot of playing given the size (miniscule) of my organ repertoire. Also, said composer has written a duet for two sopranos and has asked me if I would debut it, singing with M (a professional singer/voice teacher), which is terribly flattering. I've heard M sing, and she's got a fabulous voice, though very different from mine. To have a professional composer think I'm a good match for a duet with her just made my whole day.
I just realized I was talking about Dad W's cancer the way some husbands talk about pregnancies - as "our" tumor. It's really feeling that way. I track the appointments, take Dad W to them, and provide doctor interface and translation when he gets confused. Though I feel a little guilty because along with everything else I feel, I'm also absolutely fascinated with the actual treatments being planned.
We'll be starting targeted chemo and radiation therapy in January, both supplied through polymer microspheres fed directly into the artery that supplies the tumor. Between now and then our instructions are to feed him up, and chase him out of the house to get some exercise - basically to try to build him up both physically and mentally before treatments actually begin. So for now, it's time to catch our breath, enjoy the holidays and get ready to hit the ground running.
Other news: The Saturn having been successfully turned into a large paperweight (cracked engine block), I now have a 1997 Nissan Maxima to play with. It's a year older, but with 100,000 fewer miles than the Saturn. We now look like a family of government agents, with two black cars with black interiors and tinted windows.
Our church organist is taking a leave of absence for January and February, so I will be sharing duties with one of the other choir members (a composer and phenomenal pianist) to provide coverage. Eeep! That's a lot of playing given the size (miniscule) of my organ repertoire. Also, said composer has written a duet for two sopranos and has asked me if I would debut it, singing with M (a professional singer/voice teacher), which is terribly flattering. I've heard M sing, and she's got a fabulous voice, though very different from mine. To have a professional composer think I'm a good match for a duet with her just made my whole day.
Tuesday, December 08, 2009
Full speed ahead!
My crystal ball is broken, because treatment for Dad W. will be proceeding under full steam. Apparently we're dealing with a cancer originating in the common bile duct (surprise, surprise, the doctors here are better at identifying odd cancers). This is good, in that it means that this is the primary tumor we're dealing with, bad inasmuch as it's a notably aggressive form of cancer.
Targeted chemotherapy with supplemental radiation will be commencing practically immediately - they literally wouldn't let us out of the exam room until they had lined up Dad W's appointments with the radio-therapy people and the chemo specialist.
All the knitting stuff I got will definitely come in handy. I got 2" done on a leg warmer this afternoon alone, and this was a relatively short appointment.
It feels really weird, though. I'm getting all but blasted with approval from my in-laws (all three), all for doing stuff it would never occur to me not to do. What, am I going to tell Dad to get his own butt to and from appointments? Leave him to flounder through the medical explanations, when I have the training to understand them and he doesn't? Yell at him for being lazy because he's anemic and depressed? This is all stuff I would do for my next-door neighbor, did he need it, doing it for my father-in-law seems like no special merit. I wonder why it seems to look so different to them.
In other news, the car is good - it was just suffering from excessive cold (like my younger son, who had much to say about walking to school in the snow because the car wouldn't start).
I'm cantoring for church this coming Sunday, which will be a new experience. The singing itself is easy-peasy, but leading the congregation through the psalm is new for me. The week after is Mary's Sunday, and I'm doing a solo bit. It was originally supposed to be all the women, but apparently it's too high for even the other sopranos to sing. So, naturally if you want someone to sing in the stratosphere, I'm your girl.
Robbie has his first band concert this Thursday. He's really happy right now, because the conductor has moved him up from last chair to 4th chair within his section. He's been practicing assiduously, and is amazingly good for having been at it such a short time. Unfortunately his Dad will still be in Brazil, but Grandpa and I will be there to cheer him on.
Last but not least, Sensei's knee surgery appears to have gone well. He should start PT sometime this week, though I haven't heard exactly when. He's bored with sitting around, though - I should make him learn to knit!
ps - happy 50th Robert! I hope your party was a blast!
Targeted chemotherapy with supplemental radiation will be commencing practically immediately - they literally wouldn't let us out of the exam room until they had lined up Dad W's appointments with the radio-therapy people and the chemo specialist.
All the knitting stuff I got will definitely come in handy. I got 2" done on a leg warmer this afternoon alone, and this was a relatively short appointment.
It feels really weird, though. I'm getting all but blasted with approval from my in-laws (all three), all for doing stuff it would never occur to me not to do. What, am I going to tell Dad to get his own butt to and from appointments? Leave him to flounder through the medical explanations, when I have the training to understand them and he doesn't? Yell at him for being lazy because he's anemic and depressed? This is all stuff I would do for my next-door neighbor, did he need it, doing it for my father-in-law seems like no special merit. I wonder why it seems to look so different to them.
In other news, the car is good - it was just suffering from excessive cold (like my younger son, who had much to say about walking to school in the snow because the car wouldn't start).
I'm cantoring for church this coming Sunday, which will be a new experience. The singing itself is easy-peasy, but leading the congregation through the psalm is new for me. The week after is Mary's Sunday, and I'm doing a solo bit. It was originally supposed to be all the women, but apparently it's too high for even the other sopranos to sing. So, naturally if you want someone to sing in the stratosphere, I'm your girl.
Robbie has his first band concert this Thursday. He's really happy right now, because the conductor has moved him up from last chair to 4th chair within his section. He's been practicing assiduously, and is amazingly good for having been at it such a short time. Unfortunately his Dad will still be in Brazil, but Grandpa and I will be there to cheer him on.
Last but not least, Sensei's knee surgery appears to have gone well. He should start PT sometime this week, though I haven't heard exactly when. He's bored with sitting around, though - I should make him learn to knit!
ps - happy 50th Robert! I hope your party was a blast!
Sunday, December 06, 2009
Where we stand
'Cause God knows we're not driving - the car broke down this morning.
Tomorrow is a day for finding out things. In the morning our neighbor will take a look at the car and see if it's worth fixing (at 223,000 miles, it may just be a lost cause). In the afternoon, we have Dad W's first appointment with an oncologist, assuming I can fill in the somewhat sketchy information I have about who he's supposed to be seeing, where and when. Somewhere in the middle, Rob should get some information as to whether they're still looking for someone to fill an open technical position at the Louisville plant. Because today they asked him to stay in Brazil through Christmas - he's said no so far, but if his bosses insist it may become a case of stay or quit.
We finally got Dad W a local PCP this last week. He's a quiet sort, doesn't give you a lot of idea about what's going on in his head, but I think I like him. He seems to ask the right sort of questions, and he certainly moved fast enough on the oncology referral. His nurse was calling the clinic before we got out of the office, and they called us back to give us an appointment before dinnertime. Unfortunately it was Dad W who took the call, and he got a time and some confusing directions about getting paperwork from the PCP without getting a doctor's name, the address, or even the name of the place we were to go. All I got was "The Cancer Clinic, 1:45 Monday - oh and we should stop by the PCP half an hour earlier to fill out paperwork." So the first thing tomorrow is to get on the phone and get things straight.
The pathology report from Tennessee says metastasis, but just to be extra confusing it appears to be gall bladder or pancreas, not prostate. Nobody's seen any sign of a tumor on the pancreas, and Dad W hasn't had a gall bladder in about 12 years. My crystal ball says we're in for some more tests before the oncologist settles on a course of treatment.
Rascal the dachshund is pretty much as he was, except for the addition of dragging, licking and nibbling sores all over his rear. These have started to improve though, since we realized that it wasn't Rascal that was the problem, but rather that the other dachshund was gnawing on him when nobody was looking. Once we started keeping them separated the sore started to heal up. Poor dog, he's 14 - mostly deaf, mostly blind, arthritic and paralyzed with a heart murmur. He's not having a fun time of it. My choice would be euthanasia, but he's not my dog, so it's not my call to make. Though it is apparently my pee and poop to clean up, and for one little dog he can sure produce amazing quantities.
In some happier thoughts, I took some time Saturday to set myself up for the waiting room time I see in my future. I hit my favorite yarn store and bought yarn for five different projects: Some gorgeous stuff called Mesmerize for a Christmas top; lilac cotton for a summer T, cotton/linen for a knitted oxford shirt, black/gray merino for a hat for Robbie, and some really lovely garnet laceweight lambswool that I don't have a plan for yet - but I'll think of something. *rubs hands* Oh yes, my precious I'll think of something.
Tomorrow is a day for finding out things. In the morning our neighbor will take a look at the car and see if it's worth fixing (at 223,000 miles, it may just be a lost cause). In the afternoon, we have Dad W's first appointment with an oncologist, assuming I can fill in the somewhat sketchy information I have about who he's supposed to be seeing, where and when. Somewhere in the middle, Rob should get some information as to whether they're still looking for someone to fill an open technical position at the Louisville plant. Because today they asked him to stay in Brazil through Christmas - he's said no so far, but if his bosses insist it may become a case of stay or quit.
We finally got Dad W a local PCP this last week. He's a quiet sort, doesn't give you a lot of idea about what's going on in his head, but I think I like him. He seems to ask the right sort of questions, and he certainly moved fast enough on the oncology referral. His nurse was calling the clinic before we got out of the office, and they called us back to give us an appointment before dinnertime. Unfortunately it was Dad W who took the call, and he got a time and some confusing directions about getting paperwork from the PCP without getting a doctor's name, the address, or even the name of the place we were to go. All I got was "The Cancer Clinic, 1:45 Monday - oh and we should stop by the PCP half an hour earlier to fill out paperwork." So the first thing tomorrow is to get on the phone and get things straight.
The pathology report from Tennessee says metastasis, but just to be extra confusing it appears to be gall bladder or pancreas, not prostate. Nobody's seen any sign of a tumor on the pancreas, and Dad W hasn't had a gall bladder in about 12 years. My crystal ball says we're in for some more tests before the oncologist settles on a course of treatment.
Rascal the dachshund is pretty much as he was, except for the addition of dragging, licking and nibbling sores all over his rear. These have started to improve though, since we realized that it wasn't Rascal that was the problem, but rather that the other dachshund was gnawing on him when nobody was looking. Once we started keeping them separated the sore started to heal up. Poor dog, he's 14 - mostly deaf, mostly blind, arthritic and paralyzed with a heart murmur. He's not having a fun time of it. My choice would be euthanasia, but he's not my dog, so it's not my call to make. Though it is apparently my pee and poop to clean up, and for one little dog he can sure produce amazing quantities.
In some happier thoughts, I took some time Saturday to set myself up for the waiting room time I see in my future. I hit my favorite yarn store and bought yarn for five different projects: Some gorgeous stuff called Mesmerize for a Christmas top; lilac cotton for a summer T, cotton/linen for a knitted oxford shirt, black/gray merino for a hat for Robbie, and some really lovely garnet laceweight lambswool that I don't have a plan for yet - but I'll think of something. *rubs hands* Oh yes, my precious I'll think of something.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Notes
Sensei's ACL tear is confirmed. He's got surgery scheduled for Dec. 1. In a bit of serendipity, dojo classes were already canceled for December so he'll have some recovery time before even needing to teach from a bar-stool.
Dad W. made a stab at church today, but his stamina wasn't quite up to the task. Once he made it up the stairs to the communion rail (which took help), he couldn't make it back down without a rest, and ended up sitting with the choir until the end of service. We went straight home afterward and he took a 2-3 hour nap before rejoining the world. We have found a PCP here, and managed to move the transfer date for his insurance from Jan. 1 to Dec. 1, so we should be able to get things moving on getting him treatment that isn't two states away.
Rascal has recovered some feeling in his rear legs, but still has no voluntary motion and has now developed a significant diarrhea. You do not wish to know what the house currently smells like - and just before the family arrives for Thanksgiving!
On that note, I'm cleaning like a mad-woman this week. I had been intending to do this more slowly over the course of November, but I think I can reasonably claim that other things took priority. But it can't be put off any longer. The best I'm hoping for is somewhere above "hovel".
And if anybody was wondering, no, I'm not participating in NaNoWriMo this year. I had been intending to, but it became obvious within the first few days of November that it just wasn't in the cards for 2009. Next year perhaps.
Dad W. made a stab at church today, but his stamina wasn't quite up to the task. Once he made it up the stairs to the communion rail (which took help), he couldn't make it back down without a rest, and ended up sitting with the choir until the end of service. We went straight home afterward and he took a 2-3 hour nap before rejoining the world. We have found a PCP here, and managed to move the transfer date for his insurance from Jan. 1 to Dec. 1, so we should be able to get things moving on getting him treatment that isn't two states away.
Rascal has recovered some feeling in his rear legs, but still has no voluntary motion and has now developed a significant diarrhea. You do not wish to know what the house currently smells like - and just before the family arrives for Thanksgiving!
On that note, I'm cleaning like a mad-woman this week. I had been intending to do this more slowly over the course of November, but I think I can reasonably claim that other things took priority. But it can't be put off any longer. The best I'm hoping for is somewhere above "hovel".
And if anybody was wondering, no, I'm not participating in NaNoWriMo this year. I had been intending to, but it became obvious within the first few days of November that it just wasn't in the cards for 2009. Next year perhaps.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
This month keeps getting better and better.
Take previous week, add Sensei blowing out his knee at the tournament this weekend (possible ACL tear, we'll find out more soon), and an elderly dachshund with a slipped disc (to add to his blindness, arthritis, and heart murmur). Shake vigorously. Can we skip to the next month yet?
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