Want/Don't Want

I leave for Okinawa in the morning.

I've dreamed about this trip for literally years. I've worked on my Japanese, worked on my karate, spent lot of time, money, and energy to even be able to go on this trip. I'm not likely to get the opportunity again, and I don't want to miss it.

But now I'm terribly torn about going.

I know it will be all right. There isn't anything major medical happening for Rob in the next 12 days. He has one CT scan, and some papers to sign - that's it. We have Skype, so we'll be keeping in close touch. He wants me to go - has insisted repeatedly that I not cancel out. And yet, I don't want to go away - to walk off and leave him right now.

I guess, since I am going, that I had better get everything out of this trip I can. Bad enough to go right now, worse to leave and have a bad trip because I can't get my head to come with me. To both miss the point of the trip, and be apart from Rob would be a crying shame.

Deep breath. I'll post when I'm home again. See you all June 20th.

Updatery

Woof - that turned out to be a much longer hiatus than I intended! Since the last time I posted here we've finished redoing the family room, spent a couple of weeks in the vicinity of Boston, done a mad cleaning of the house top-to-bottom, for a visit of Rob's boss from the west coast, had Aaron's birthday party (a visit to the local amusement park), registered the kids for the new school year, and are now in the throws of buying school supplies, getting haircuts, and otherwise prepping for school to start in about ten days.

We have a whole passel of new students at the dojo, and it looks like several of them are likely to stay on. They're a fairly homogenous group - all between ten and thirteen years old, all but one boys, three are related, and three of them are in the same school (two of them are in the same school, grade, and section as Robbie - if they stay, the seventh grade of RVMS will be providing about a third of our students!). Robbie seems to like the idea of being senior to other kids his age, and Sensei and I are hoping that realizing they will be looking to him for how they should do things will keep him on his toes - so far so good on that score.

I've gotten quite obsessed with the show Criminal Minds over the last few weeks. We just got a DVR, and suddenly I can watch shows without having to fight for time on the TV. At the rate I'm going, I'll probably catch up with watching the episodes in another 3-4 weeks. The show analysis over at matociquala's livejournal is really addictive - the show does quite a lot of good character development and overarching narrative, without losing the episodic nature (I.e. it doesn't turn into a soap opera).

I've also decided that instead of Nanowrimo this year, I'm going to try Novel_in_90. I've done Nano for years, but this year there's just too much going on in November to make writing 50,000 words feasible. Spreading it out over three months in the fall, on the other hand, sounds like something I can do.

And last, but not least, I haven't forgotten the next post on breathing. I'll get that up in the next day or so.

Where We Stand

First off, thanks to everyone for the well wishes and support. They are all much appreciated. I'm down at my parents' house right now, but will be heading back home tomorrow.

In good news, Mom is recovering well from her mastectomy. She should be able to get the drain out in a couple of days, which I'm sure will be a relief. Also, Dad W. likes the aide we found to help him while I was gone (I like her too). She's an older woman, but very bubbly and active (and likes dogs - a must around our place). Having her available should give me significantly msore flexibility for when responsabilities conflict.

The bad news is that several of Mom's sentinel nodes (5 of 11) showed positive, so there's chemo and radiation in her future. The exact plan hasn't been decided upon yet (we're awaiting a call from the oncologist), but regardless, it's not the news we were hoping for.

Massive Updatery

Okay, I've been seriously lax, for which I apologize. My excuse is that about three million things have happened since my last post and I've been running around like a mad thing. My computer is beginning to make sad, forlorn noises at me, probably from the sheer neglect. I'll give the overview here, and then try to make more specific posts on each topic over the next few days - it should provide enough material for some time.

In roughly chronological order:

Nicky is not doing very well. He took a turn for the worse just before I left for my trip, and had slid even more by the time I got home. At this point he has no use of his hind legs, and frequently doesn't even twitch them when walking with his hind end supported. He's got some bad sores from scraping skin off dragging himself around the house (They're healing since I got home, and I'm not terribly pleased with my cadre of doggie watchers for letting them get so bad.) A lot of his fate is going to depend on if and how much he recovers, especially since is front end is so deformed (puppy-ricketts) that I doubt it will hold up for very long under the extra strain.

The World Tournament, on the other hand, went very well indeed. I brought home one very large trophy (3rd place kumite), and am generally pleased with how things went both for me, and for our dojo. Sensei appears to concur.

Visits went quite well, despite (and occasionally because of) their whirlwind nature. We got to spend another overnight in the Boston Museum of Science, which is all kind of cool, and was much more comfortable for Mommy this time, with a sleeping bag and a mat - bare floors with no pillow or covers was not a winner the previous time. I got to see my friend Beth preach, which I had not gotten to see before (she was ordained last spring). That woman can preach! I can safely say she's gotten over her fear of public speaking.

Our church organist's father died while I was gone. This was not unexpected. The timing was absolutely horrible for him, but actually pretty good for me (which makes me feel rather guilty). Because I wasn't there, I didn't have to do an emergency service - which I am not ready for - and because he is moving right now, he is in town more than he was intending to be in the aftermath, and therefore I'm not having to half-ass my way through any services, but will just be playing some individual pieces, which is not a problem. I expect it will be another six months to a year before I really feel comfortable taking over a series of services - I.e. able to play all relevant service music, and learn a service's worth of hymns in one week, plus enough of a repertoire of pre- and postludes to last several weeks.

The family reunion starts a week from tomorrow, and Rob did no laundry while I was gone, so I'm in a mad scramble to catch up from the trip and then get us ready to go again. I'll get to see both brothers, which is awesome, and I should get to go over my katas with my cousin Jim (a black belt in two different disciplines), which I'm much looking forward to.

And last, but definitely not least THE BOOK IS OUT!!!!!! Alien Hand Syndrome and Other Too-Weird-Not-To-Be-True Stories has hit the bookshelves. My mother reports that Borders (at least in her area) has it in stock. I have two articles, my first ever paid & published articles, in it. It's fun stuff so you should all run out and buy yourselves copies!

And that's the current rundown. I'll give each of these the full post it deserves over the next few days, but at least now you know what's going on.

Home Again

Actually, we've been home for a few days now (since Wed.). But by now we're unpacked and I've caught up on my sleep.

The trip was great. We spent the first week up at L's house, where there was much book reading, knitting and some writing. We had a low-key party for L's oldest son (whose actual birthday is later this month) so that he could celebrate while we were there. Ice cream, chocolate cake (the kind made with boiling water over cocoa), and fresh strawberries. We only actually talked S into having a cake at all by telling him we needed something to put the candles into. Given his own way it would have been strawberries, whipped cream and ice cream.

Because S's birthday celebration was the day before A's graduation party we ended up making four homemade cakes in 24 hours. For the graduation party it was lemon/white chocolate cake, chocolate angel food cake, and an apple-spice ring (vegan). Those were carted into Boston for the party, but held up well and were duly demolished by the guests.

A's place was next. As usual that was a whirlwind of visits to everywhere in creation. On the plus side, she now has a high-end GPS, which means that for the first time ever I spent a week driving around downtown Boston without getting lost. For those who haven't been there, Boston streets are supposed to be paved over cow paths. This is supposed to explain why they are so twisted. Given the sheer number of one-way streets, five and six-way intersections, roundabouts that aren't round and other bizarre features my contention is that the cows of early Boston were ingesting some kind of hallucinagen. If you miss your turn it is impossible to simply go around the block and try again - even attempting such a thing is likely to land you across the harbor. This is complicated by Boston not posting street names for most of its major streets apparently under the impression that everyone knows what they are anyway, so why bother? The GPS was a godsend. It even got me to my clinic appointment at Mass General on time and on the first try with only one wrong turn. (Even a GPS isn't a miracle worker. "Turn left in 50' " isn't always going to work in a town with five, six and more way intersections. "WHICH LEFT!!!")

The neuroendocrinologist visit was all good. Dr. Utz was lovely, spending a good 90 minutes with me answering every question under the sun. I have a couple of blood-test results waiting to come in, but the upshot so far is that the adenoma appears to be doing no harm and is unlikely to ever do any harm. She feels that if the next MRI (in August) shows no growth, then I can drop back to having an MRI every second or third year just for safety's sake. As much as I like Dr. Utz though, I'm very glad MGH isn't my regular hospital. It's hellish to get around in - lots of traffic, weird street patterns, and a huge campus that isn't particularly well labeled.

While we were at A's, I got to leave the boys behind for a day and jaunt down to NYC for a day with Beth and Becky. B&B are friends from college. I've seen each of them several times since then, but have not in the last 15 years had a chance to just spend a day hanging around as a trio. It was wonderful. We had lunch at Alice's Tea Cup, and Alice in Wonderland themed restaurant with out-of-this-world food. For a random note, BLT's with dark bread and bleu cheese spread are marvelous. We also sampled frozen hot chocolate (fabulous), went to a good yarn store (where I got materials to knit Beth a beaded stole for weddings), went shoe shopping (successfully), and hit a Tibetan store where I finally got a pouch for my MP3 player and a leather case for my PDA.

Then it was back to Boston, where we spent the day at the New England Aquarium. We went with one of A's friends from work and her two girls. All four kids had a grand time. Aaron (with A's encouragement) is now talking about spending a summer volunteering there when he's old enough at fourteen. Robbie would rather volunteer at the Science Museum.

The last day of the trip was Beth's ordination. We left A's early, went to Connecticut to meet up with Becky, and then all crammed into her and her husband's Civic to go down to Manhattan. The 4th Universalist Society is a beautiful old stone church - with air-conditioning, thank goodness. Beth and her mother had already hung up yards of rainbow organza and yellow satin. I got to help with setting out candles. Lots and lots of candles. Judging by the number we had to choose from, the UU's really, really like their candles.

The service itself was beautiful. UU congregations ordain the ministers, so there were a number of welcoming speeches by various communities, readings selected by Beth, a couple of beautiful songs, and then Beth and the congregation read vows and charges to each other. This was followed by a laying on of hands by everybody in the room in a sort of giant human web. Followed by more welcoming speeches, a gift of her robe by her parents and of a stole by the congregation. For me it was a wonderful chance to see Beth in her element (she's going to make an awesome chaplain), and to meet many of the other important people in her life.

After that it was the drive home, losing one of the DS's (after we got home, no less), and flopping out to recover for a couple of days. Normal life to resume tomorrow.

Sundays in the Park with Sensei

We knew it was coming, though I wasn't sure it would happen this quickly. We have split away from the TKD dojo. There were a lot of issues involved, which I'm not likely to discuss in detail, since it would be very easy to slide into badmouthing, but suffice it to say that practically none of our students were very happy with how things were going, and we were getting more unhappy with time.

Sensei tried to find us a new place to go. In fact we very nearly ended up at a Shrine Club literally around the corner from me (less than 200 yards from my house), but negotiating fell through over whether and when we could use our padded flooring. So far that's the closest he's been able to come to finding us a new place.

So for now, we are practicing in the local park. There are a few disadvantages, the biggest being the unpredictability of class (Sensei checks the weather report each weekend and calls us Sundays to tell us which days we'll have class.). Allergies are also a problem for at least one student. On the other hand, the outdoor practices are quite fun. The uneveness of the ground isn't extreme, but it's enough to provide more challenge than a level indoor surface. Plus we've been generating a lot of interest from new students. Pretty much every class, three or four people will wander by, sit down for a while, and watch us. Others watch more distantly. About once a class somebody will wander up and talk to one of us about what we're doing. We've already had one new student join, and at least two others have expressed interest.

It would be nice to have an indoor place so we could have regular class hours, and access to things like heavy bags and makiwaras - but you know, for a complete improvisation, this isn't doing too bad. I think it might even be worth holding summer classes in the park again next year, even if we are in a more permanent spot. It seems to be really good advertising.

In other news, Lance - Sensei's first black belt, has opened his own class at the YMCA in Frankfort, KY. (That's the capitol of Kentucky.) Four of us went down for his opening day. So far he has two students, but they've been back for repeat classes, so he's off to a good start. He has a pretty good space - a basketball court, complete with some padded walls that would make pretty good punching practice.

More personally, I've finally made it through Kusanku. Just in time, too, since I'm hitting the road for Boston day after tomorrow. I really wanted to have it complete. It's much easier (to me anyway) to practice and retain a kata once I have the whole thing in there, then while I'm still learning it piecemeal. Sensei has loaned me his DVD of tonfa basics to practice with also while I'm gone, so I can keep working on those.

Rob has made me a perfectly beautiful pair of tonfas. He checked the general proportions from the commercial set I had, plus descriptions from other places. Then he made me a pair of pine blanks to check proportions - I actually used these in class for several weeks, because even out of pine and held together with screws, they already fit and moved much better than the commerical set. Once I was sure of exactly what I wanted based on the blanks, he went ahead and made the final set. They're gorgeous. Osage Orange (to match my bo staff), in a block-style tonfa (see here). The handle is exactly my hand-width, which improved my accuracy about 100% almost immediately. This is good, because these things are heavy. If I miss with the commerical tonfas and whack myself in the shoulder or back of the head, I get a bruise. With these suckers I'm likely to do real damage. They spin like a dream though, and the handles are perfect. Sensei has asked Rob to make a custom pair for him.

I may or may not get another post in before Boston. Tomorrow is packing, rental car pick-up, and the arrival of my FIL (aka Nicky's personal door-opener). I found both of the boys' DS's, so the actual traveling should be minimally boring for them. Plus, since I'm getting the car a day early I can stick some holes in an old sheet and make a cover for the back seat of the car - thus permitting minor eating back there, which should also help. This coming week is at L's for writing, baking, trivia contests (last time we won L a pizza parlor gift certificate), and present-hunting (what do you get someone for an ordination?). Then it's A's for our usual whirlwind of running madly- plus a neuroendocrinologist visit for a second opinion as to whether my little tumor is actually doing anything or not. Then we spend the last three days at Beth's for her ordination and general fun and hanging out. I will post as people allow me computer time, but since I don't have a laptop to bring, I'm dependant on charity for computer access.

Sorry About the Interruption

We're back again - even our luggage made it back eventually, though it didn't arrive until past ten last night. My original thought had been that I would blog Mon, Tues and Wed before we left, and then Sunday upon our return, thereby only actually missing three days. Instead of which I blogged none of these days, plus not having actually mentioned on-line that we were going on a trip! Whoops!

The boys and I went up to Boston for four days, visiting A. While we don't have the money for such a trip particularly, when a friend wants you to visit bad enough that they send you the plane ticket money, you go visit. A's had a rough year medically, having had endoscopic gall bladder surgery turn into full abdominal surgery, followed by two infections, peritonitus, a screw-up with an idiot giving her blood thinners, thereby delaying a needed corrective surgery substantially, and finally a stent. So I can understand the intense desire to a) have a friend come visit and have some fun (and hugs), and b) have four days where worrying about who is going to help you dress, bathe, get places, etc. is simply not an issue.

Two days before we left, Rob called from work. They had decided that he needed to go to a conference (which starts today) in Quebec. Rob has an application in for a passport, but no passport as of yet, so I had to find his birth certificate to get over the border. So my intended leisurely day of packing and cleaning (and not incidentally blogging and writing) was turned into a full house rampage as the bc was NOT in the lockbox where I keep all the vital papers. I hunted for about eight hours - until Rob came home - with no sign of the birth certificate. Rob then joined in the hunt, and found it in about an hour. It was in the glove compartment of the car he was at work with. Oi.

Apparently one can't fly into Canada with a birth certificate, but one can drive across the border that way - at least for now. So Rob flew up to Vermont yesterday, rented a car, and drove up to the meeting (which is about building chemical plants in foreign countries). On the good side, he was able to park the car where I could find it, so the boys and I had a car waiting when we flew in, but only had to pay for about six hours parking.

The next day was taken up with the now much more frantic packing, repairing some of the damage from the paper hunt (on the good side, I've now thrown out about four large garbage bags of shredded paper), and the random last minute emergencies that always happen just before trips start. We made the plane in good order, and then discovered that the ticket agent had stuck us in separate parts of the airplane. On both flights. Anybody who's travelled with young boys will tell you, this is Not On. The people on the first flight were lovely about switching, so other than the shuffling people about in a crowded plane, it went very well. On the second flight, though, the two boys had been put together and I'd been put four rows up on a window seat. The guy in the aisle seat next to the boys was upset about my asking to switch, but even more upset about being seated next to two children, and pissed and moaned about losing his aisle seat so loudly that a very nice woman on the aisle seat across the way offered to take my window seat, give him her aisle seat, and let me sit next to the boys. Which we did, but the man I had displaced continued to glare at me whenever he got the chance for the rest of the flight. Did he pay extra for no child seating or something? Because I thought that unless you paid for, oh, three seats together, you sat next to whomever the airline put you with.

Boston itself was much fun. As always with A, it was nonstop. Thursday was spent shopping, running errands, and finally driving into Worcester (1 hour drive) and back to see L, because her husband had called to say that their eldest son had "gotten into an altercation" at school and been sent to the UMass psych ward. Which is now causing much head scratching, because he was perfectly calm and cooperative at UMass, to the point where they sent him home that same afternoon with an appointment for evaluation in May. So what happened that the school would have the police drag a (small) ten year old boy away bodily? It's hard to tell at this point because the school is much more interested in justifying themselves than in providing useful information. A loaned me her van to drive up, which is much appreciated, but for some bizarre reason views this as a favor that L owes her (when she and L have very little interaction, and don't actually get on very well), instead of a favor I owe her, which would be easy to pay back.

After that entertaining day we spent 22 hours straight in the Boston Museum of Science, right down to sleeping on the floor of the Mathematica exhibit (MoS Camp-in program, highly recommended). Their special exhibit right now is Reptiles Alive!, so Aaron was over the moon. We went to a Planetarium show, an Omni show and a lightning show, plus a workshop on dinosaurs, which involved dissecting owl pellets (found two skulls - a rodent and a mole). Due to a sleeping bag mishap, I ended up sleeping on bare floor, which didn't really allow for much sleep. Then we had friends over at A's apartment from then until bedtime. (I found a second beta reader for Ghost Dancer! Woot!). At which point it was time to pack up, because the taxi was coming to get us at 4am. The boys got a whole 3-4 hours sleep, while I ended up substituting a shower and change for any actual sleep. Poor Robbie kept falling asleep at the airport, and plainly felt terrible. After he tried to walk through a plexiglas wall, I picked him up to carry him through security and the gate (being lectured on the size of your toothpaste tube while carrying a 65 lb. child and falling-over tired is an interesting thing). I managed to stay awake long enough to stagger onto the plane (the ticket agent seated us together this time. Go Ticket Agent!), where we all pretty much passed out until Charlotte. Repeated the stagger and pass out for Louisville, except that when I woke up on descent, I discovered Aaron had been awake the whole time, and had been talking quietly with the person next to him (he was across the aisle from me), and gotten a drink from the stewardess, all without feeling the need to wake me. Go Aaron! A couple of years ago, it took him up to a week to warm up to a strange adult. Got to Louisville to discover that our luggage had not yet left Logan in Boston. They did find it eventually and it showed up about ten last night, once the driver found our house (our neighbor's limosines are proving a really handy landmark).

I did get some writing done during all this, but it's all in long hand on a legal pad, so you'll have to wait until I get it typed in to find out how much it is.

And that is What I Did Over Spring Vacation.