Want/Don't Want

I leave for Okinawa in the morning.

I've dreamed about this trip for literally years. I've worked on my Japanese, worked on my karate, spent lot of time, money, and energy to even be able to go on this trip. I'm not likely to get the opportunity again, and I don't want to miss it.

But now I'm terribly torn about going.

I know it will be all right. There isn't anything major medical happening for Rob in the next 12 days. He has one CT scan, and some papers to sign - that's it. We have Skype, so we'll be keeping in close touch. He wants me to go - has insisted repeatedly that I not cancel out. And yet, I don't want to go away - to walk off and leave him right now.

I guess, since I am going, that I had better get everything out of this trip I can. Bad enough to go right now, worse to leave and have a bad trip because I can't get my head to come with me. To both miss the point of the trip, and be apart from Rob would be a crying shame.

Deep breath. I'll post when I'm home again. See you all June 20th.